I talk too much

01 May

This is quite painful to admit, but a friend let me know about this recently.  He was subtle at first- “Wow, you’re really verbal!”  I didn’t get the hint- kind of saw it as a compliment, actually.  Finally he came out and said it, “I think you talk too much.” He was referring to meetings that we’re in together, but it’s not just meetings.  I talk a lot- especially for a guy.  I haven’t always been this way- I was a pretty quiet kid.  But in recent years, I have- apparently- become “very verbal”.  Receiving this has been painful- mostly I’ve felt defensive, until truth started sinking in.  Like the Bible.
As in James 1:20- “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”.  I’ve been practicing the quick to speak, slower to listen strategy.  Hmmm.

I’ve asked myself why I talk so much. Part of it is from a deep desire to connect- I really do want to know and to be known.  Talking a lot reveals that I’ve been working really hard to be known- kind of a “here’s who I am- please understand and accept me.”  I may not come across as insecure (or do I?) but it’s in there.  I talk to convince- to share my perspective and ideas and hope that others will agree.  I talk to get out what’s been rolling around in my head and heart- because of course it must be shared, right?  Maybe not. Or at least as much.

So the first step is awareness.  Check.  Next- to hold my tongue. That habit that will require serious retraining- and God’s help.  But I want to do more- to actually listen better.  To ask better questions and draw out others.  Not just less words on my part, but better ones- hopefully from a place of hearing, not just speaking.  Going public with this is one way to make this more real- even to me.  So here goes- ready, set, LISTEN.


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Posted by on May 1, 2012 in Uncategorized


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